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Thank You Indeed ChuckBuckner
PERRY
 Yesterday, 09:43 Post #141121

This was by no means my preferred genre, which leads to the fact that such a positive critique means all the more. My first assigned 5s across the board with a written review to indicate that you really did 'get it'.
I grew up with a collection of HG Wells including his amazingly eclectic anthology of short stories. I encountered some which presented me with exactly the literary scenario you have described.
I'm in hog's heaven after that review and have no intention of diluting my appreciation with a mere emoticon.

Thank you for reviving my faith in the reader.
Telling and showing in writing.
NickPoole
 Yesterday, 08:07 Post #141120


I would define "showing" as writing that uses the senses to evoke an experience in the reader.

The reader wants to share the journey, to be "in" the scene, rather than hear about it.

If you think about it, a novel is a metaphor. It presents you with a story with the intention of providing the objective co-relative...it wants to prove something about the condition of being human by providing an emotional experience. It differs from a poem because it is a "story"...that is it has action and moves towards some kind of resolution.

So you can tell a story by just saying, there was this man who fell in love with a woman, but she loved somebody else. He tried to win her favour by driving her everyday to see her boyfriend. One day she told the driver that she was going to marry her boyfriend. That night the man climbed into the boyfriend's house and killed them both.

Or you could let us "live" the thing.
Many Thanks, marlenehtapscott
NARandall
 Yesterday, 07:15 Post #141119

Marlene, many thanks for your review of 'A Life in Ellipsis.' I'm glad you enjoyed it. (I didn't realize 'Tumbledown' was one of yours as well.)
Telling and showing in writing.
ChuckBuckner
 Yesterday, 05:14 Post #141118

Quote: DanlTetley, Monday, 30 Jan 2012 14:54
Can somebody give some example of how to 'show' the story in writing as opposed to 'telling'. This is something I am really struggling with, and it has been brought up by several people so it is an issue I desperately need to acknowledge.

The problem I have is that a large amount of my story is told through the third person and narrated as the main protagonist isnt in all of the chapters. I give her thoughts and narrative where I think its appropriate but its clearly not enough...help!

Danl


Telling — She was ugly.

Showing — I glanced at the woman and immediately turned my head away. That brief glance burned an image in my mind. An image I wouldn’t be able to shake for a long time. Her head sat atop her shoulders like a pumpkin left on the front porch for weeks after Halloween. The face carved in the middle still held some semblance of a demonic smile. I hope it wasn’t smiling at me.
Karl, thanks so much for the FW
rosefitzrobert
 Yesterday, 04:51 Post #141117



You have no idea. You've put your finger on what was bothering me - the prose is lifeless, and your suggestions are a shot in the arm. I was sitting here drooping over my computer, staring at the same paragraphs again and again, moving the sentences around until I couldn't see straight.
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