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fleursdemontblanc - Celia << Return To Main Site

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fleursdemontblanc - Celia
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DanlTetley
 08 Feb 2012, 17:03 #141384 Reply To Post
Hi Celia,
thank you for your constructive criticism of Talking with Dougie.
It has all been noted and I must say that grammar and punctuation will always be a let down of mine, I just don't get the rules. What I am interested in though is improving my narrative voice. You raised two issues, that I switched between past and present tense - this is because the mc is telling the story as it happens, but also refers to influences in his life previously, does that make it more acceptable or if not could you give me an example of what I could do to streamline this problem?
Also you said that sometimes Sam didnt sound 14, how old did he sound? and should I remove the typical teenage swears and replace them with something tamer to widen my audience?
I appreciate you must be busy but I have had a look at some of your books and would appreciate your feedback...you clearly know what you are doing!

Thank you, Danl.
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