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AntCity
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Quote: Keel, Thursday, 1 Oct 2009 23:01Single handed, I once wiped out two ant’s nests armed only with a glove and a kettle of hot water. That sort of makes me a hero, doesn’t it? Bravo…Two to me…Zero for the ants. Perhaps I’ll get writing now, and with a little poetic licence the creepy crawlies can become Iraqi ants. Then, with one best seller under my belt the marketing lot can do the rest. $$$$$$$.  Me and my mate John once wiped out one ant nest with a can of four star that John's dad had for the lawn mower. Another mate of mine, Bernard, used to take ants out individually with a magnifying glass and the sun.
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AntCity
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Anyway, before I got side tracked into remembering my mis-spent ant destroying youth, the worst book I thought I ever read was Sven Hassel's 'Liquidate Paris' which depicted Canadian soldiers shooting prisoners in cold blood. At the time, this angered me so much I threw the book across the room (I was about 12 at the time and in my mind soldiers in khaki did not behave like that). Later in life, my reading about the Normandy campaign in WW2 suggested it might have been accurate. Sorry Sven.
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sulcus
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Quote: AntCity, Friday, 2 Oct 2009 23:26Anyway, before I got side tracked into remembering my mis-spent ant destroying youth, the worst book I thought I ever read was Sven Hassel's 'Liquidate Paris' which depicted Canadian soldiers shooting prisoners in cold blood. At the time, this angered me so much I threw the book across the room (I was about 12 at the time and in my mind soldiers in khaki did not behave like that). Later in life, my reading about the Normandy campaign in WW2 suggested it might have been accurate. Sorry Sven. Ha yes, I too have been prompted only once to throw the book across the room. Referred back to it on one page somewhere in this thread. But it was lessing's "The Good Terrorist"
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
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SVAdamson
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The worst opening to an otherwise respectable book has to be Les Miserables by Victor 'Laughing Boy' Hugo. If memory serves, he rambles on for about 100 pages about a character who gets killed before the plot even starts moving. And there are more bizarre and lengthy tangents where that came from.
If I was reviewing it on YWO it would get a 1 for pace and structure (and I hardly ever give 1s). The rest of the review would go something like:
Characters 3. You clearly think you are mind bogglingly clever to come up with the notion that criminals are people too but I'm afraid you are only clever compared to shallow 19th century moralists.
Plot 1. Sorry, it didn't start in the 7000 words you were allowed in the extract.
Pace 1. See above.
Language 4. I would have given you a 5 but that would only encourage you to write yet more sentences for the sake of it.
Narrative voice 2. They invented the term 'omniscient narrator' for you, didn't they? The one thing you don't seem to know about is the 'show don't tell' rule.
Dialogue 2. There wasn't any. Try writing some - it's not that hard.
Settings 4. Again, I might have given you 5 but that would only encourage you into yet more description.
Themes and ideas 3. Having a theme doesn't mean you need to hammer me over the head with it.
Perhaps if you went back and edited, say, 90% of it you might have a decent story? You're not bad for a beginner. Good luck!
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Joe 90
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Quote: SVAdamson, Monday, 5 Oct 2009 22:19The worst opening to an otherwise respectable book has to be Les Miserables by Victor 'Laughing Boy' Hugo. If memory serves, he rambles on for about 100 pages about a character who gets killed before the plot even starts moving. And there are more bizarre and lengthy tangents where that came from. If I was reviewing it on YWO it would get a 1 for pace and structure (and I hardly ever give 1s). The rest of the review would go something like: Characters 3. You clearly think you are mind bogglingly clever to come up with the notion that criminals are people too but I'm afraid you are only clever compared to shallow 19th century moralists. Plot 1. Sorry, it didn't start in the 7000 words you were allowed in the extract. Pace 1. See above. Language 4. I would have given you a 5 but that would only encourage you to write yet more sentences for the sake of it. Narrative voice 2. They invented the term 'omniscient narrator' for you, didn't they? The one thing you don't seem to know about is the 'show don't tell' rule. Dialogue 2. There wasn't any. Try writing some - it's not that hard. Settings 4. Again, I might have given you 5 but that would only encourage you into yet more description. Themes and ideas 3. Having a theme doesn't mean you need to hammer me over the head with it. Perhaps if you went back and edited, say, 90% of it you might have a decent story? You're not bad for a beginner. Good luck! Which prompts the awful prospect of Vic Hugo submitting an eleven page rant in the 'Thanks but no thanks' forum.
my website
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SVAdamson
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Quote: Joe 90, Tuesday, 6 Oct 2009 09:13Which prompts the awful prospect of Vic Hugo submitting an eleven page rant in the 'Thanks but no thanks' forum. One page objecting to my review; ten describing the battle of Waterloo.
This post was last edited by SVAdamson, 07 Oct 2009, 19:10
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What's the worst book you've ever read
02 Oct 2009, 23:15
