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US blocks haggis imports
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Miller
 26 Jan 2010, 17:11 #80788 Reply To Post
It's a bluidy disgrace. Whit's wrang wi' yon colonials?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8480795.stm
mlloyd
 26 Jan 2010, 18:33 #80792 Reply To Post
Terrible shame. Terrible shame. You might try and get around it by describing it as a condiment for neeps. That oughta do.
mlloyd
 26 Jan 2010, 19:10 #80794 Reply To Post
Funny though, when you first posted I thought it read - "US Bollocks Haggis Imports" and I thought it was a breakdown of offal sales.
AntCity
 27 Jan 2010, 17:08 #80837 Reply To Post
Is it the Long Left Legged Haggis or the Long Right Legged variety that is affected?
Miller
 27 Jan 2010, 21:16 #80844 Reply To Post
Quote: mlloyd, Tuesday, 26 Jan 2010 19:10
Funny though, when you first posted I thought it read - "US Bollocks Haggis Imports" and I thought it was a breakdown of offal sales.


'US Bollocks Haggis Imports' - now, that would be a headline.

Are bollocks offal? In terms of meat consumables I guess they are. (Sweetbreads spring to mind.)

Of course, the bollocks of the haggis (a mature male haggis has three bollocks) comprise a rarity which we keep for ourselves and never export. Placed in a wee muslin bag and left to soak for six months in Highland loch water, (your mains water tank will do at a pinch), they then become chewy treats which go down rather well with a dram or two of Scotch whisky, preferably a single malt, though a blend will do, or even a single grain at a push. (But none of your Irish or North American copycat stuff. Or Japanese. Or whoever.)

This post was last edited by Miller, 27 Jan 2010, 21:51
Miller
 27 Jan 2010, 21:32 #80846 Reply To Post
Quote: AntCity, Wednesday, 27 Jan 2010 17:08
Is it the Long Left Legged Haggis or the Long Right Legged variety that is affected?


Och, Ant. You're the unwitting victim of the same old propaganda. The haggis does not have legs at all. It consumes young heather shoots (a major irritation to grouse breeders) and farts both sonorously (usually in the key of A, once it has reached maturity, though younger haggises (sic) usually start off in the key of F Minor), the expulsion of gases from the masticated heather serving to propel it from crannock to crannock.

This post was last edited by Miller, 27 Jan 2010, 21:50
mlloyd
 27 Jan 2010, 21:50 #80849 Reply To Post
I shot a haggis once. It was sleeping with my wife.
This post was last edited by mlloyd, 27 Jan 2010, 21:50
Miller
 27 Jan 2010, 21:54 #80850 Reply To Post
Quote: mlloyd, Wednesday, 27 Jan 2010 21:50
I shot a haggis once. It was sleeping with my wife.


Aye, that's the attraction of three bollocks for you.

AntCity
 28 Jan 2010, 09:43 #80862 Reply To Post
Quote: Miller, Wednesday, 27 Jan 2010 21:32
Quote: AntCity, Wednesday, 27 Jan 2010 17:08
Is it the Long Left Legged Haggis or the Long Right Legged variety that is affected?


Och, Ant. You're the unwitting victim of the same old propaganda. The haggis does not have legs at all. It consumes young heather shoots (a major irritation to grouse breeders) and farts both sonorously (usually in the key of A, once it has reached maturity, though younger haggises (sic) usually start off in the key of F Minor), the expulsion of gases from the masticated heather serving to propel it from crannock to crannock.



I can see why the US government wants to keep them out. I suppose you could try to beat the import ban by hiding one in your underpants.
awrigley
 28 Jan 2010, 12:48 #80870 Reply To Post
Quote: Miller, Wednesday, 27 Jan 2010 21:32


...and farts both sonorously (usually in the key of A, once it has reached maturity, though younger haggises (sic) usually start off in the key of F Minor)...



I thought the plural for haggis was haggii
Memory... What was that?
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