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DanlTetley
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Can somebody give some example of how to 'show' the story in writing as opposed to 'telling'. This is something I am really struggling with, and it has been brought up by several people so it is an issue I desperately need to acknowledge.
The problem I have is that a large amount of my story is told through the third person and narrated as the main protagonist isnt in all of the chapters. I give her thoughts and narrative where I think its appropriate but its clearly not enough...help!
Danl
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ajblack4567
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Ah, a hardy perpennial of the Message Board. Someone will be along in a minute with that quotation from some Russian bloke about the moonlight glinting on broken glass. I don't profess to be an expert but my understanding of this idea is: readers like to work things out for themselves. So if one of your main characters is, say, arrogant, then show them doing something arrogant, don't just tell the reader "they're arrogant". To me, it's as simple as that. Of course, this is how it operates in relation to character. It's less straightforward to get your head round it when it comes to setting a scene through descriptive writing, for example. Above all else, however, remember - rules are designed for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools.
My story, 'An Encounter' - as improved by YWOers - is available in this anthology: Speech Bubble Magazine Best Of Issues 1, 2 & 3 ebook
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DanlTetley
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Thank you so much,
Leymans terms is what it's all about. I'm articulate enough but do not fit into the usual writers catergory, un-educated with an imagination can be a conflict let me tell you, so a big thank you for simplifying it for me.
I can now begin my next edit, 5th or 6th...I forget!
Danl
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ZeBeDee
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At its core "show don't tell" is basically this:
Always dramatize a situation. If the act of telling is dramatic, then telling is OK.
The problem with telling happens when what is dramatic is the content of what is told, rather than the situation.
To use the example of an arrogant character, there is nothing dramatic about telling the reader that so and so is arrogant.
The underlying rule is:
Always extract as much impact out of a situation as possible.
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draig
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Quote: DanlTetley, Monday, 30 Jan 2012 14:54Can somebody give some example of how to 'show' the story in writing as opposed to 'telling'. This is something I am really struggling with, and it has been brought up by several people so it is an issue I desperately need to acknowledge. The problem I have is that a large amount of my story is told through the third person and narrated as the main protagonist isnt in all of the chapters. I give her thoughts and narrative where I think its appropriate but its clearly not enough...help! Danl And words ending in 'ly' is a form of telling. For instance don't say 'angrily'. You need to show he/she is angry by his/her actions. But it seems this is only for beginners such as ourselves as pro writers do it with abandon.
The Stories so Far
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krademacher
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Some ways of conveying an action or scene have a distancing effect, like when there is heavy use of "be" verbs (be/is/was/were/had been/are). When read, "tell" prose" feels as if you are being told about an event, rather than getting invited in for the ride. Example of tell: I was scared when the cop pulled me over. Example of show: My stomach sank when the cop pulled me over. There is a level of resonance present in "show" that does not exist in "tell." You don't need to use flowery and high-blown language to be effective at showing your world. Creative verb usage is often all it takes. But don't take the "get rid of be-verbs" thing as an edict. Here's an example where "had" makes an appearance in "show:" Tell: "I went to the store, met Sally, and fell in love." Show: "At the store, my eyes gravitated to this young woman in the deli. She had stylish brown hair and a captivating smile. We stood for several awkward moments before either of us could speak." Feel the difference? There's an immersive quality to showing something that is more important than the actual words used.
This post was last edited by krademacher, 31 Jan 2012, 17:08
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dancingsue
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Quote: krademacher, Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 17:07Tell: "I went to the store, met Sally, and fell in love." That could be a good line, if it isn't what the story is about. It says a lot about the narrator's character but nothing about Sally's - it could go either way. Telling is fine if you need to get past something or give information that isn't spectacular but needs to be there for clarity of the narrative. When you get a chance to dramatize (show) however small, don't pass it up.
the long and the short of it
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Palache
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Quote: krademacher, Tuesday, 31 Jan 2012 17:07Tell: "I went to the store, met Sally, and fell in love." Show: "At the store, my eyes gravitated to this young woman in the deli. She had stylish brown hair and a captivating smile. We stood for several awkward moments before either of us could speak." You could also try: "I went to the Telly, turned on Sally, fell in the tub, and came out scrubbed and in love."
my website
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krademacher
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Quote: Palache, Thursday, 2 Feb 2012 11:09You could also try: "I went to the Telly, turned on Sally, fell in the tub, and came out scrubbed and in love." HA!
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ChuckBuckner
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Quote: DanlTetley, Monday, 30 Jan 2012 14:54Can somebody give some example of how to 'show' the story in writing as opposed to 'telling'. This is something I am really struggling with, and it has been brought up by several people so it is an issue I desperately need to acknowledge. The problem I have is that a large amount of my story is told through the third person and narrated as the main protagonist isnt in all of the chapters. I give her thoughts and narrative where I think its appropriate but its clearly not enough...help! Danl Telling — She was ugly. Showing — I glanced at the woman and immediately turned my head away. That brief glance burned an image in my mind. An image I wouldn’t be able to shake for a long time. Her head sat atop her shoulders like a pumpkin left on the front porch for weeks after Halloween. The face carved in the middle still held some semblance of a demonic smile. I hope it wasn’t smiling at me.
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Telling and showing in writing.
30 Jan 2012, 14:54
