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Stephen King: Bad sex award extract
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Book News
 25 Nov 2011, 14:21 #135635 Reply To Post

11.22.63 - It's a great Stephen King book but it's also up for a bad sex award.


She said, "Don't make me wait, I've had enough of that," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips forward ... She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to meet me. "Sadie? All right?"


"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. "Is it over, or is there more?"

"A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time."

It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"

View Guardian news item
This post was last edited by Book News, 25 Nov 2011, 14:49
notleyab
 25 Nov 2011, 19:22 #135650 Reply To Post
Quote: Book News, Friday, 25 Nov 2011 14:21

11.22.63 - It's a great Stephen King book but it's also up for a bad sex award.


She said, "Don't make me wait, I've had enough of that hanging around at the bus-stop for the 69 ," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips in,out shook them all about ... She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to hop to mine. "Sadie? All right?"

"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed like a drain. Glug, glug She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. "Is it over, or is there more?"

"A little more," I said, reaching for the tape measure. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time. But Alf said he enjoyed it"It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar! I forgot to buy a bag at Tesco's"View Guardian news item


Nothing that a quick work out on YWO couldn't have fixed.
rosefitzrobert
 25 Nov 2011, 19:47 #135651 Reply To Post
Quote: notleyab, Friday, 25 Nov 2011 19:22
Quote: Book News, Friday, 25 Nov 2011 14:21

11.22.63 - It's a great Stephen King book but it's also up for a bad sex award.


She said, "Don't make me wait, I've had enough of that hanging around at the bus-stop for the 69 ," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips in,out shook them all about ... She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to hop to mine. "Sadie? All right?"

"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed like a drain. Glug, glug She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. "Is it over, or is there more?"

"A little more," I said, reaching for the tape measure. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time. But Alf said he enjoyed it"It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar! I forgot to buy a bag at Tesco's"View Guardian news item


Nothing that a quick work out on YWO couldn't have fixed.


Thank you, I needed that.
freelancelogan
 30 Nov 2011, 08:18 #135919 Reply To Post
I so want to win this award one day. I think the sex scene in my book might be in with a shout!
notleyab
 30 Nov 2011, 08:50 #135927 Reply To Post
Quote: freelancelogan, Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011 08:18
I so want to win this award one day. I think the sex scene in my book might be in with a shout!


Well don't leave it like tt, if you can't post yr book, at least give us a peep.
Chair of the Voyeurs' Society.
rosefitzrobert
 30 Nov 2011, 09:40 #135934 Reply To Post
Quote: notleyab, Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011 08:50
Quote: freelancelogan, Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011 08:18
I so want to win this award one day. I think the sex scene in my book might be in with a shout!


Well don't leave it like tt, if you can't post yr book, at least give us a peep.
Chair of the Voyeurs' Society.


I second the motion, Mr. Chairman!
kazmojazz
 30 Nov 2011, 09:51 #135936 Reply To Post
Quote: Book News, Friday, 25 Nov 2011 14:21

11.22.63 - It's a great Stephen King book but it's also up for a bad sex award.


She said, "Don't make me wait, I've had enough of that," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips forward ... She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to meet me. "Sadie? All right?"


"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. "Is it over, or is there more?"

"A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time."

It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"

View Guardian news item


Even more hilarious than last year's list. Jean M Aeul's POV is all over the shop - tut tut!
freelancelogan
 30 Nov 2011, 12:20 #135952 Reply To Post
It involves a farting sofa and pinging noises, which should be sufficiently bad, I think!

I can't post the actual scene, as my publisher might get miffed with extracts ahead of time.
sulcus
 30 Nov 2011, 13:19 #135958 Reply To Post
Quote: kazmojazz, Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011 09:51
Quote: Book News, Friday, 25 Nov 2011 14:21

11.22.63 - It's a great Stephen King book but it's also up for a bad sex award.


She said, "Don't make me wait, I've had enough of that," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips forward ... She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to meet me. "Sadie? All right?"


"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. "Is it over, or is there more?"

"A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time."

It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"

View Guardian news item


Even more hilarious than last year's list. Jean M Aeul's POV is all over the shop - tut tut!


during a sex scen, if the narrative pov isn't all over the place, then the protagonist ain't in the moment of the sex...
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle

"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
rosefitzrobert
 30 Nov 2011, 14:08 #135959 Reply To Post
Quote: freelancelogan, Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011 12:20
It involves a farting sofa and pinging noises, which should be sufficiently bad, I think!

I can't post the actual scene, as my publisher might get miffed with extracts ahead of time.


Ah well (sigh) I guess we'll have to make do with Stephen King. Notley did an additive rewrite. Here's a subtractive edit, dedicated to my friend Phil who says of writing, "Less is more."

-----------
She said, "Don't make me wait," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips forward. She raised her hips to meet me.

"All right...more "

It turned out there was quite a bit more. Ohmygodyes.
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