Quote: Andy Humphrey

The main feature I was looking for in the short stories was a properly balanced narrative. Teachers used to say that stories need a beginning, a middle and an end. I wasn’t expecting every writer to follow this simple pattern; but I was looking for some sort of structure of characters, conflict and resolution. Stories which didn’t have this were eliminated after the first reading.

A large number of entries were character sketches – many revolving around elderly people, unable to communicate with their loved ones because of disability or dementia. Some of these were very well written, and if this had been a character sketch competition, they might have fared better. But it wasn’t. If nothing happened to the characters, in my judgement the piece wasn’t a short story, and could go no further.

Another fundamental of a short story is that the characters have to be able to make a difference to the plot. Stories where characters are prisoners of their situation, and have no chance to choose or alter their fate, are frustrating for a reader who wants to empathise with the characters and see them develop. Most of the genre stories (historical, crime, science fiction and horror) fell into this trap.

I have to commend the small number of writers who attempted to use their stories to leave a political or moral message. Not all were successful; most tried too hard to ram the message home, at the expense of the storytelling. I have to mention one in particular. The first half of the story was one of the most original in the competition, with a unique (and absolutely heartbreaking) narrative voice and a subtlety of style which allowed the reader to accept a controversial moral point through empathy with the narrator’s actions. It was let down by an epilogue which departed from the narrator’s voice and spelt out the message with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, shattering the vital connection between reader and narrator. A pity; without the epilogue, this would have been a prize winner.

To reach the shortlist required something more. In the Highly Commended story, The Bad Wire Fence, this meant a beautiful writing style and a lump-in-the-throat storyline. It is a deceptive story, in some ways; nothing actually happens except in the narrator’s mind, but the writer’s control of atmosphere and tension is well judged, and enhanced by an eye for the small, telling detail.

Barbs and Vanes is a fantasy story which doesn’t let the setting run away with itself at the expense of characterisation. The central character is not human, yet I was totally caught up in her world, feeling her pain. I loved the literary conceit of casting a writer as the villain in the story – a villain with whom other writers will empathise, even as they share his prisoner’s struggle to break free.

Whistling Vivaldi is the stylistic opposite of Barbs and Vanes: the sentences are short, the language direct and un-flowery, and there’s no space for admiring the scenery. The result is a perfectly paced piece of dramatic writing that begins at the crisis point and leaves the reader on tenterhooks up to the closing paragraphs. The biggest strength of the story is the central character. From the dramatic opening, our involvement in his world is total. He’s real, and never stereotypical. It really matters that he should extricate himself from his dangerous course of action, and find a means of redemption.

After You, Mr. Mayor sets itself a difficult task from the opening. It’s narrated entirely in an AfroCaribbean patois – not completely authentic, but a literary rendition of patois that captured the music of the language without being a distraction to a white British adjudicator. It is a perfectly structured short story with an echo of Alexander McCall Smith about it. The central character is at once flawed and admirable; the plot is a simple parable of pride before a fall, and the crisis is followed by a heart-warming resolution. There’s even a digression into a small fairytale. It’s a less serious piece of writing than the others on the shortlist, but it is executed with such delicacy that it is a deserving winner.

Quote: awrigley, Wednesday, 28 Sep 2011 17:55Hi

I got the bumph for a local literary festival in the post today for reasons that escape me. I keep my literary inclinations to myself around here. Very NIMBY.

Now Small Town in Yorkshire is a dreary dump at the best of times, a town with no clear identity, torn between horse racing and food packaging. You don't expect much from the place, let alone its literary festival. You certainly don't expect to be sent information on the short story competition before entry has closed.

So, as I could no longer enter the short story comp, I decided to have a look at last year's winners. What I found was the judge's report, and have copied it below as it sums up a lot of issues with peoples short stories, here on YWO.

Enjoy the masterclass. The highlighting is mine.



To be honest, I think it is better than many of the often formulaic Pro Crits on YWO.

Quote: ciaranl, Thursday, 29 Sep 2011 12:47It's the search for redemption, Sulcus. The need to try. Rarely found, I agree. But sought after, even though its misunderstood, all the time.

Quote: sarsen, Thursday, 29 Sep 2011 16:57

Can I have an each-way bet on Malton?
I was disqualified last year when t'judge found my short story on this site ... hence 'it had been published'.
He said I was also dissed with a poem - he found that on the internet too. So I had a pint and then came home.