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sulcus
 02 Jul 2009, 22:46 #63442 Reply To Post
Quote: MLT, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:26
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:18
gizzards is a good word, but again not strictly fish related[/quote


I thought only birds had gizzards, but, according to my dictionary, some fish do as well.

I haven't read the piece in question, so may be talking rubbish, but what about 'entrails'? Would that fit?


1500 words. A 10 minutes read tops, more like 5. Another 5 minutes to write a FW. Still 41 minutes less than watching a Williams Sister destroy the Number 1 seed. Knock yourself out.
This post was last edited by sulcus, 02 Jul 2009, 22:47
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle

"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
unclearthur
 02 Jul 2009, 23:10 #63448 Reply To Post
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:18
Quote: PaulySpooner, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 21:55
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 18:47
Yes better ending.

Still don't think you can have fish offal though.


What about fish viscera...


gizzards is a good word, but again not strictly fish related


What's wrong with good old-fashioned guts?


Jonathan


www.cavalrytales.co.uk


www.cavalrytales.co.uk

'The battle that never ends is the battle of belief against disbelief'
sulcus
 02 Jul 2009, 23:25 #63451 Reply To Post
Quote: unclearthur, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 23:10
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:18
Quote: PaulySpooner, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 21:55
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 18:47
Yes better ending.

Still don't think you can have fish offal though.


What about fish viscera...


gizzards is a good word, but again not strictly fish related


What's wrong with good old-fashioned guts?


Jonathan


www.cavalrytales.co.uk




Not literary enough.

Next.

"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle

"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
Saxon Annie
 03 Jul 2009, 01:42 #63455 Reply To Post
Quote: MLT, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:26
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:18
gizzards is a good word, but again not strictly fish related[/quote


I thought only birds had gizzards, but, according to my dictionary, some fish do as well.

I haven't read the piece in question, so may be talking rubbish, but what about 'entrails'? Would that fit?


Innards
PaulySpooner
 03 Jul 2009, 07:14 #63458 Reply To Post
I like entrails...

http://failblog.org/2009/01/02/commercial-failhttp://failblog.org/2009/01/02/commercial-fail

This post was last edited by PaulySpooner, 03 Jul 2009, 07:16
.
unclearthur
 03 Jul 2009, 21:28 #63547 Reply To Post
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 23:25
Quote: unclearthur, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 23:10
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:18
Quote: PaulySpooner, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 21:55
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 18:47
Yes better ending.

Still don't think you can have fish offal though.


What about fish viscera...


gizzards is a good word, but again not strictly fish related


What's wrong with good old-fashioned guts?


Jonathan


www.cavalrytales.co.uk




Not literary enough.

Next.



Fair comment. Gastrointestinal tract?


www.cavalrytales.co.uk

'The battle that never ends is the battle of belief against disbelief'
sulcus
 03 Jul 2009, 21:44 #63550 Reply To Post
You kind of need to read his 1500 word piece to see the context, cos gastrointestinal tract isn't going to work in how he needs it to be.
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle

"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
MLT
 03 Jul 2009, 22:21 #63556 Reply To Post
Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 2 Jul 2009 22:46
1500 words. A 10 minutes read tops, more like 5. Another 5 minutes to write a FW. Still 41 minutes less than watching a Williams Sister destroy the Number 1 seed. Knock yourself out.[/quote


I have followed your advice. It was good advice so I may take note of future suggestions.

Chuck Buckner
 03 Jul 2009, 22:30 #63559 Reply To Post
I read the story. It is very good.

The word guts has been used. There is no need to repeat it by using another word for the same thing. Most people know what guts are. Why try to come up with another name for the same thing.

Guts are guts and literary as any other word.

The word 'them' would do nicely.

"They offer warm fish guts for sale to incredulous passers-by - who buy 'them' without asking for a price before carrying their small polystyrene prize at arm’s length to the nearest bin, tipping it in untouched."
...
sulcus
 03 Jul 2009, 22:56 #63562 Reply To Post
Quote: Chuck Buckner, Friday, 3 Jul 2009 22:30
I read the story. It is very good.

The word guts has been used. There is no need to repeat it by using another word for the same thing. Most people know what guts are. Why try to come up with another name for the same thing.

Guts are guts and literary as any other word.

The word 'them' would do nicely.

"They offer warm fish guts for sale to incredulous passers-by - who buy 'them' without asking for a price before carrying their small polystyrene prize at arm’s length to the nearest bin, tipping it in untouched."


What you say is valid, but seeing as Pauly wrote 'fish offal' he made a decision to use a different word. It was just one I felt problematical in logic and usage, not the principle.

Myself, I hate to use the same word twice, let alone on the same page. But then I get slaughtered for over use of vocabulary. If I'm reading something and the same word gets used again in short space of time, it really jars inside my head and disrupts my inner flow as a reader.

Different strokes and that.
This post was last edited by sulcus, 03 Jul 2009, 22:57
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle

"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
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