Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Writing is an art. There are no ‘rules’.

Reviewers on this site are constantly quoting these so called ‘rules’ of writing. If your writing is very bad, then you can probably improve it by applying some of these rules. But if you writing is good, you can throw the rules out of the window.

To take an example from the world of art. If you were learning to draw portraits and you put both eyes on the same side of the head, then it would be useful to apply the rule ‘eyes should go one each side of the nose’. But if you can draw well, the rule can be abandoned.

What I’m saying is (without making any comment on your work, which I haven’t read), if the switch from PoV to narration is something you’ve done accidentally, then go back and think about it. If you did it because that’s the way you wanted it, then leave it as it is.

The only rule is, don't let the reader put the book down.

The rest are just comments or reactions. A reader might comment, "I didn't like it when I stopped riding along with x and suddenly you were just telling me about history or politics or something, so I skipped all that".

What keeps people reading? STOP THE BILL

I haven't read your piece but, in theory, writing in the third person does allow you to observe your MC from outside. However, if you are telling things from his POV, you can't really mention anything that he can't see and doesn't know unless you write in very definite sections so the reader is aware of an intentional switch. Perhaps your reviewers are suggesting the pov slips from time to time, or the 'voice' isn't consistently that of a 16 year-old when you're in his pov? the long and the short of it

Sorry, I realise that was a rubbish example to give. I've got another one. Again, apologies if posting excerpts is not allowed on forums. I'm new to the site so not quite sure what is permitted.

Quote

Aaron swung his bag over his shoulder and started making his way down the path of Kelvin Avenue. He braced himself against the cold chill and the drizzly light rain, typical Glasgow weather. He turned the corner and just like always, he saw the two figures, also in school uniform, waiting for him at the end of the street. He smiled and continued walking, picking up the pace a little.

“Finally, about time!” Rose scolded as Aaron reached her. “Did you sleep in again?”

“No, I got up really early, actually.” Aaron defended. “A full half hour early.”

Rose shook her head at him while her brother, Sam chuckled.

“That is early.” he agreed and all three set off down the street.

Samuel Jackson and his twin sister, Rosalyn Jackson, lived only two houses away from Aaron. Despite being a year older than him, the twins were Aaron's closest friends. They grew up on this street together, their childhood spent chasing each other up and down the quiet streets of Glasgow. They would go apple picking, which consisted of stealing apples from their neighbours trees and picking flowers from their gardens.

Being twins, Sam and Rose both had brown hair and hazel eyes. Rose was undeniably the prettier of the twins, with her long hair, creamy white complexion, perfectly arched eyebrows over bright hazel eyes and an infectious smile that no one could resist. Sam shared her good nature, always laughing, poking fun whenever he could.

End Quote

It starts of with Aaron but then goes into objective point, explaining the twins and so on. Only one reader out of four said he/she found this distracting and suggested I should keep it all in Aaron's POV and said that as a reader, he/she doesn't care if Rose is technically prettier or not but would like to know if Aaron thinks she is pretty.

If any of you could please give me your opinion, if you agree with the reader and think I should change it so it stays in Aaron's POV all the time or if you think the way I have done it is acceptable. I would really appreciate any thoughts. Many Thanks!!

Thank you

That's very comforting!!!

Personally, I like the changes between MC POV and objective (third person omniscient) viewpoints. So I'll do what you suggest; stick to what I feel is most comfortable.

Thank you very much!!