I don't know what this guy's on, but I'd like some too.
This is the most purely entertaining piece I think I've ever read on YWO. Written while the author was working in the anti-terrorist wing of Tesco, this extract offers sound advice on how to transport a Minging Barbara (forerunner of the Spinning Jenny), where you can purchase the Beans of Happiness, and even what to do when the skin and bone weasel steals your tv remote. (For a start, don't waste time asking "What would Magnus Pike do?" But it might help to grab a duck and hit the hyperspace button). Furthermore, the author reports that there are still people who refuse to believe that hamsters have zips, but they do, because it's written in the Bible.
I'll be fascinated to see what some of our more pedestrian, literal-minded reviewers make of this piece of inspired idiocy. Heaven knows where Simon Mouroyd is going with it, but I for one will be following, if only out of sheer curiosity.
Athene
Scias te fortasse Romanum esse si animal convivialissimum arbitreris esse caprum (Henricus Barbatus)
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