|
SoRoDu
|
|
|
|
Hey all,
reviews from my opening chapters have highlighted one general consensus: I use too much description.
I must admit, I do love to use description, but the reviews have shown that mine are often long-winded and can bore the reader rather than catching their imagination.
Does anyone perhaps have tips for cutting back on description whilst still being able to give the reader enough information about the settings/what's happening in the story?
I need to sustain a quite quick pace and tense atmosphere so again any tips on how this can be achieved?
Thanks,
Sophie.
|
|
Midwinter Jim
|
|
|
|
Hi Sophie,
The following advice might seem strange, but it really helped me.
Cut a third of everything you write. Be ruthless.
It really works. I had a short story that was okay. Then I saw a magazine that were looking for similar stories but had a strict word limit.
So I sat down and cut cut cut. I won't lie, it hurt. I was very worried that the reader wouldn't know, wouldn't be able to see what I wanted them to see.
And then, reading it over again, I realised that it had turned my okay story into something much better.
I strongly suggest you read Stephen King's "On Writing". It is a great guide to storytelling. I'll paraphrase a small section:
There's a table. On the table is a cage. In the cage is a rabbit. Written on the rabbit's back, in ink, is the number "23".
Now, I could have told you that the table was wooden. It had a red checkered tablecloth on it. The cage was square and made of chicken-wire. The rabbit was fat, and a dull brown colour.
But none of that matters!
While reading the passage, some people will see a metal table, one with a blue tablecloth on, some will see a bare cane table. Some will see a big cage, made of wood, some may even see a cage made of plastic. I see a brown rabbit, you see white.
If the author intrudes all of the time about the details, it forces out the more natural images that lie within the reader. That white rabbit may have emotional resonance with you, because you had a fluffy white bunny as a kid.
The details don't matter. So, what does? You may ask.
The story. That number, inked on the rabbit's back? What the hell is that?
It's up to you as the writer to explore that.
I hope this helps,
Jim
|
|
stjerome
|
|
|
|
Yes. What Jim said. Cut, cut and cut again. Most of your adverbs, at least half your adjectives. Superfluous phrases, superfluous description, anything that can be lost without changing the sense of the piece. I've just cut my WIP by a least 20%, and it was scary. When I started, I was even pasting the cut bits into another document in case I wanted to put them back - it's like cutting off an arm. Works though - a tighter, cleaner read. Hope this helps Tim
Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. Ambrose Bierce (1842 -1913)
|
|
SoRoDu
|
|
|
|
Hi Jim and Tim,
thanks for the advice. I have been reading numerous authors that write in the same genre so I can improve my writing skills. I guess I will have to cut, cut, cut. I'm waiting on three reviews so once they're back, I'll lock myself in my room and edit thoroughly till I'm left with something much better.
Good luck on your work, and thanks for replying. I realised after I posted that I put it in the wrong forum. I'm the one meant to be giving advice in this forum haha. Title may be a bit misleading.
Thanks again, Sophie.
|
Descripton vs. Dialogue
13 Jun 2011, 11:36
