Catch the Sun

Author : Ian Roberts

Genre : Action, Adventure, Historical, Saga, Thriller

Catch the Sun

These chapters have a nice flow and grabbed my attention from the very beginning. Your subject matter is interesting and I think with a bit of tightening up you have a real gem here.

The characters are well-developed and Jan is particularly likeable. The paragraph which begins, “Jan Willem knew the scorpions were everywhere. He had one ...,” is a lovely detail. A few more observations like this about Jan might expand his character even further.

The first paragraph with the line that begins, “Then came the crackle of rifle fire, muzzle-flashes...,” I found to be a difficult sentence. I had to read it a few times to understand what you were trying to say. I think you might be trying to say too much in one sentence. I wasn’t introduced to any of the characters at this point in the story and so was trying to figure out who shot who and who was who. I think if you break it up a bit it might flow a bit smoother.

I really liked the line, “Water closed over the boy’s face and he began to believe he would die.” I found this to be quite powerful and conveyed to me the seriousness of the situation he was in.

Also, the dream sequences are a nice tool to take us back in time to meet his mother and father. I would say however that the paragraph spacing might be better used to break this up to show the reader what is dream and what is actually occurring.

In the sentence, “George Stanley drew the sword and pulled...,” I think the word “to” is missing after the word “late”.

Lastly, the sentence that begins, “Relieved to be out of the stinking shelters, soldiers and civilians...,” took me a few tries to get the meaning of this one as well. Maybe if it read something like this, “Relieved to be out of the stinking shelters, outside soldiers and civilians inspected the shell damage in the ninety-degree heat.”

The above are of course only suggestions and I really did like this a lot. It had a great pace and it would definitely be something if I picked up to read I probably wouldn’t put down again. Thanks for letting me have a read and good luck.


Synopsis
A brutal look at the effects of being orphaned by war; a rites of passage story, involving love, humour, courage, revenge and lifelong friendships tested - from the slaughter of the Boer War to the snobbery of Edwardian England, where a decades-old secret leads to tragedy and revenge.


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Catch The Sun is an accomplishment rarely equalled on sites such as YWO. The author has mixed all the neccessary ingredients with painstaking care, and all the scenes jump off the pages in living color.