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Turnip
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Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 18:15Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 17:29Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 16:48Done and posted. I hoped it is some help. Marjorie Excellent Marjorie, very helpful. I always have colon trouble. I'll be taking up the suggestions from yourself and Harry above. The blades and severing and tied to pillar and stuff are all images from the legend. I could explain here but don't want to spoil it in case of other readers. so, if you're interested: from p339 on It certainly makes more sense when you read the legend. But can you be sure that readers of the anthology will be familiar with the legend? It must be possible to clarify it a bit without labouring the point. However, it is your story and I wish you well with it. Point taken Marj, I'll have to work on that. Over here the story seems well known, like Robert Bruce and the spider, but you're right, I should check my audience or make things clearer.
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Turnip
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still open to any free willies
Back to my roots.
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Turnip
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Quote: sarsen, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 22:06Quote: Turnip,[/quoteHarry, would you like a freewill of 1513? I've just uploaded a 2000 word short story, 'Strands of Copper'. It has not been seen here. A critique of that would be of interest. But you can look at the historical novel 1513 if you prefer. (It is much longer) Thanks Harry, I did the free will on 1513 as I was already half way through when I read your post. Cheers Turnip Harry
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Joe 90
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Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading. If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters. Cheers Turnip Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold Done one for you. Best wishes Joe 90
my website
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Turnip
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Many thanks Joe, just the ticket. Alles klar.
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Turnip
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Thanks to all who responded and closing this request off now.
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Turnip
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Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 14:02Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading. If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters. Cheers Turnip Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold I'll try to have a look at it this afternoon. Please do not reciprocate at the moment. I am currently revising the two books that I have uploaded. They are only there to avoid accusations of reviewing without having work posted. Hi Marjorie. Please don't forget to let me know when you're ready for the return free will. Cheers Turnip
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MLT
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Quote: Turnip, Monday, 6 Sep 2010 10:47Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 14:02Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading. If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters. Cheers Turnip Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold I'll try to have a look at it this afternoon. Please do not reciprocate at the moment. I am currently revising the two books that I have uploaded. They are only there to avoid accusations of reviewing without having work posted. Hi Marjorie. Please don't forget to let me know when you're ready for the return free will. Cheers Turnip Thanks. I've just put up a revised version of Cover Story. It's a children's story so I'll understand if you aren't comfortable with the genre and would rather forget about it. I'd quite like to see the final version of Mortal Wound before it goes into the anthology.
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Turnip
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Quote: Joe 90, Thursday, 2 Sep 2010 14:04Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading. If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters. Cheers Turnip Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold Done one for you. Best wishes Joe 90 Joe, do you have anything you'd like me to look at? I had The Swordsman of Calais as an assignment review back in July.
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Turnip
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Joe, Marjorie and Harry, I've posted the revised version of Mortal Wound with a lot of your suggestions incorporated. Many thanks. P.S. I haven't explained too much about the actual legend as the readership will know it. Most people of an age in Ireland know that Cuchulainn tied himself to a pillar and ravens landing on his body gave the game away that he was dead etc.
This post was last edited by Turnip, 10 Sep 2010, 18:55
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