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Anyone available to free will my short story Mortal Wound?
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Turnip
 02 Sep 2010, 07:24 #97839 Reply To Post
Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 18:15
Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 17:29
Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 16:48
Done and posted. I hoped it is some help.

Marjorie


Excellent Marjorie, very helpful. I always have colon trouble. I'll be taking up the suggestions from yourself and Harry above.
The blades and severing and tied to pillar and stuff are all images from the legend. I could explain here but don't want to spoil it in case of other readers.

so, if you're interested: from p339 on


It certainly makes more sense when you read the legend. But can you be sure that readers of the anthology will be familiar with the legend? It must be possible to clarify it a bit without labouring the point. However, it is your story and I wish you well with it.



Point taken Marj, I'll have to work on that. Over here the story seems well known, like Robert Bruce and the spider, but you're right, I should check my audience or make things clearer.
Back to my roots.
Turnip
 02 Sep 2010, 07:26 #97840 Reply To Post
still open to any free willies
Back to my roots.
Turnip
 02 Sep 2010, 11:56 #97867 Reply To Post
Quote: sarsen, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 22:06
Quote: Turnip,[/quote


Harry, would you like a freewill of 1513?


I've just uploaded a 2000 word short story, 'Strands of Copper'. It has not been seen here. A critique of that would be of interest.

But you can look at the historical novel 1513 if you prefer. (It is much longer)

Thanks


Harry, I did the free will on 1513 as I was already half way through when I read your post.
Cheers
Turnip
Harry



Back to my roots.
Joe 90
 02 Sep 2010, 14:04 #97877 Reply To Post
Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34
I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading.
If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters.
Cheers
Turnip

Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold


Done one for you.

Best wishes

Joe 90
my website
Turnip
 02 Sep 2010, 14:18 #97879 Reply To Post
Many thanks Joe, just the ticket. Alles klar.
Back to my roots.
Turnip
 04 Sep 2010, 15:43 #98131 Reply To Post
Thanks to all who responded and closing this request off now.
Back to my roots.
Turnip
 06 Sep 2010, 10:47 #98234 Reply To Post
Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 14:02
Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34
I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading.
If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters.
Cheers
Turnip

Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold


I'll try to have a look at it this afternoon.

Please do not reciprocate at the moment. I am currently revising the two books that I have uploaded. They are only there to avoid accusations of reviewing without having work posted.




Hi Marjorie. Please don't forget to let me know when you're ready for the return free will.
Cheers
Turnip
Back to my roots.
MLT
 06 Sep 2010, 10:54 #98235 Reply To Post
Quote: Turnip, Monday, 6 Sep 2010 10:47
Quote: MLT, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 14:02
Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34
I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading.
If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters.
Cheers
Turnip

Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold


I'll try to have a look at it this afternoon.

Please do not reciprocate at the moment. I am currently revising the two books that I have uploaded. They are only there to avoid accusations of reviewing without having work posted.




Hi Marjorie. Please don't forget to let me know when you're ready for the return free will.
Cheers
Turnip


Thanks. I've just put up a revised version of Cover Story. It's a children's story so I'll understand if you aren't comfortable with the genre and would rather forget about it.

I'd quite like to see the final version of Mortal Wound before it goes into the anthology.


Turnip
 07 Sep 2010, 13:16 #98306 Reply To Post
Quote: Joe 90, Thursday, 2 Sep 2010 14:04
Quote: Turnip, Wednesday, 1 Sep 2010 11:34
I have a strange little short story that I have to get into shape for an Irish anthology. It retells a short tale of classic Irish folklore with two frequently alternating viewpoints. The language is meant to be archaic as the setting is pre-Christianity. I'm committed to the style of narration but I really need some extra eyes to look over the language etc. If it helps I can share the original folklore but that will spoil the first reading.
If anybody fancies taking a look, I'd be happy to reciprocate with a free will of short story or novel chapters.
Cheers
Turnip

Mortal Wound - Irish folklore retold


Done one for you.

Best wishes

Joe 90



Joe, do you have anything you'd like me to look at? I had The Swordsman of Calais as an assignment review back in July.
Back to my roots.
Turnip
 10 Sep 2010, 18:49 #98638 Reply To Post
Joe, Marjorie and Harry, I've posted the revised version of Mortal Wound with a lot of your suggestions incorporated. Many thanks.

P.S. I haven't explained too much about the actual legend as the readership will know it. Most people of an age in Ireland know that Cuchulainn tied himself to a pillar and ravens landing on his body gave the game away that he was dead etc.
This post was last edited by Turnip, 10 Sep 2010, 18:55
Back to my roots.
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