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Oxfordia
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I have a lovely little girl who is 19 weeks old. It's great but I am really struggling to find time to write, as I have to juggle looking after her, looking after my absent-minded but oh so adorable husband and taking care of the house/meals/shopping, etc... I was wondering if there were other mums and dads in the same situation. Also, I live in Bicester, Oxfordshire, if anybody fancy meeting up. I don't drive though so it might be a bit of a logistical challenge, unless you don't mind coming to mine. warning, there are toys all over the sitting room and we moved in last summer so aren't fully furnished yet. Good luck to all the other parents out there. You only fully realise what it's like when you become one yourself.  Laurie
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AntCity
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Quote: Oxfordia, Thursday, 18 Mar 2010 10:50I have a lovely little girl who is 19 weeks old. It's great but I am really struggling to find time to write, as I have to juggle looking after her, looking after my absent-minded but oh so adorable husband and taking care of the house/meals/shopping, etc... I was wondering if there were other mums and dads in the same situation. Also, I live in Bicester, Oxfordshire, if anybody fancy meeting up. I don't drive though so it might be a bit of a logistical challenge, unless you don't mind coming to mine. warning, there are toys all over the sitting room and we moved in last summer so aren't fully furnished yet. Good luck to all the other parents out there. You only fully realise what it's like when you become one yourself. Laurie Congrats on becoming a parent. Writing is now very much to be grabbed when you can but you should get a whole new set of experiences to inspire you.
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sulcus
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I'm the main child rearer of twins. I used to write plays and hang out at theatres. When the boys were on the way I knew this was no longer going to be possible and decided to turn to novel writing instead. Having said that, the first 8 months or so were impossible to do any writing. Until they started sleeping through, then when they were in bed, that's when I wrote. In those first 6 months I couldn't even read a book, such were the demands on one's time. It was only through the Kay Scarpetta noevsl that I even got back into reading, though I probably wouldn't read her now, I will be eternally grateful to her for getting me back into reading. My years of frustration as a playwright mean I no longer beat myself up if I don't sit down to any writing. That seems the key to your situation - it will get easier, you will find time, so don't give yourself a hard time about it right now if you can't get down to any writing.
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
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Marita Hansen
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Hey, Sulcus, there's a set of twins on the message board also. JAB did you see Oxfordia's avatar. You guys must've been separated at birth.
This post was last edited by Marita Hansen, 18 Mar 2010, 13:08
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Oxfordia
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Quote: sulcus, Thursday, 18 Mar 2010 11:50I'm the main child rearer of twins. I used to write plays and hang out at theatres. When the boys were on the way I knew this was no longer going to be possible and decided to turn to novel writing instead. Having said that, the first 8 months or so were impossible to do any writing. Until they started sleeping through, then when they were in bed, that's when I wrote. In those first 6 months I couldn't even read a book, such were the demands on one's time. It was only through the Kay Scarpetta noevsl that I even got back into reading, though I probably wouldn't read her now, I will be eternally grateful to her for getting me back into reading. My years of frustration as a playwright mean I no longer beat myself up if I don't sit down to any writing. That seems the key to your situation - it will get easier, you will find time, so don't give yourself a hard time about it right now if you can't get down to any writing. Twins! I bet you were busy. Congrats on looking after them and remaining sane. I think you're right about not giving myself a hard time. I need to be patient. The little one's worth it :D
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MLT
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Quote: Oxfordia, Thursday, 18 Mar 2010 10:50I have a lovely little girl who is 19 weeks old. It's great but I am really struggling to find time to write, as I have to juggle looking after her, looking after my absent-minded but oh so adorable husband and taking care of the house/meals/shopping, etc... I was wondering if there were other mums and dads in the same situation. Also, I live in Bicester, Oxfordshire, if anybody fancy meeting up. I don't drive though so it might be a bit of a logistical challenge, unless you don't mind coming to mine. warning, there are toys all over the sitting room and we moved in last summer so aren't fully furnished yet. Good luck to all the other parents out there. You only fully realise what it's like when you become one yourself. Laurie Firstly, congratulations. Mine were babies before the days of home computers. I wrote in longhand and typed up on a battered old portable typewriter. The secret is to do the planning in your head while you are peeling vegetables or doing the ironing. If you have some hands free way of doing so, record your thoughts as you work. You will probably have to resign yourself to physically writing in short spurts of about 15 minutes while you have a coffee break or wait for the meal to cook. I suspect that at the moment your daughter will be perfectly happy to lay on a rug or play mat and watch you as you work. Later, when she is old enough, give her some paper and a crayon and let her write 'like Mummy does'. She'll love sharing this time with you. At this stage don't be tempted to get up early to write. At the moment you need all the sleep you can get. I live about 20 minutes drive from Bicester but unfortunately I am no longer able to drive for medical reasons or I would have been happy to come over and have short writing sessions with you. If you find anyone else in Bicester who writes and has transport you are very welcome to come to my house. I'm used to having toys all over the place. Hope some of this is helpful. Regards Marjorie Sorry I misread 19 as 9. Blame the drugs. Obviously she will be mobile now. Will she sit and play in a playpen if you are sitting beside her 'playing' on your laptop? Maybe she is too keen to explore, so you might have to time your writing for when she is asleep. It is tempting to escape in the evening, but it is too easy to neglect your partner. Does he enjoy an evening out with his mates? If so, make the most of this time. Just be flexible and look forward to the time when she is old enough to go to a playgroup.
This post was last edited by MLT, 19 Mar 2010, 20:17
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Lin Lee Liu
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Hi,
I'm a newish Mum too - the kid is almost two.
I'd love to pop round for a cuppa but I think distances would be a problem. I'm in Australia.
Once the baby started sleeping through the night my brain started to work again. And when it started to work again, I really needed the mental stimulation. Writing is a WONDERFUL mind workout. It keeps me sane. Otherwise I would probably have gone back to work like most of my friends - not for the money, for the sanity. There's only so much play dough, blocks and repetitive 'scaffolding activities' I can cope with...
I'm not sure if it's another form of procrastination but I gave up trying to finish a novel until the kid starts school. For now I'm really enjoying short stories, as I can actually finish them! To be honest, I could probably finish a novel if I didn't have a problem with attention span. I have the entire evening to write because she goes to bed at seven. That's not to be sniffed at.
My house is also a total mess. I'd always rather be reading or writing.
My mothers' group friends are all pregnant again. Not me. Nup. Fek it. Writing is my new baby.
Oo oo oo...
This week I've offloaded the kid onto Nanna and Poppy who were only too keen to take her on their road trip! She's currently at the beach having a great time. I'm getting so much done! I keep getting pictures of her eating icecreams, playing with the cousins... If you allow yourself to be the kind of mother who can release your baby to the rellies, you're at a huge advantage. I know mothers who'd never let their toddler go away for an entire week. Or even a night.
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rinkytink
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Congratulations Oxfordia-now the weather's getting better I suggest a walk in the buggy & when the wee one falls asleep, get your note book out & use that as golden time for writing. You have also entered another dimension as regards material for writing. I used to think I was a fairly savvy person until I started to observe other parents at playgroup/toddler group/the school gate - all of human nature is there in one form or another. Yours to discover & enjoy.
Only an "s" stands between laughter and slaughter.
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sulcus
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Quote: rinkytink, Sunday, 21 Mar 2010 23:09Congratulations Oxfordia-now the weather's getting better I suggest a walk in the buggy & when the wee one falls asleep, get your note book out & use that as golden time for writing. You have also entered another dimension as regards material for writing. I used to think I was a fairly savvy person until I started to observe other parents at playgroup/toddler group/the school gate - all of human nature is there in one form or another. Yours to discover & enjoy. ha yes spot on Rinky. I wrote a whole novel about parenting and the precise scene at the school gate is something I've done a video reading of.
"A,B&E", "Not In My Name" and "52FF" (flash fiction anthology) all available on Amazon Kindle"How a psychopath makes sweet love. I can get you ringside. Royal box even."
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Joe 90
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Quote: Oxfordia, Thursday, 18 Mar 2010 10:50I have a lovely little girl who is 19 weeks old. It's great but I am really struggling to find time to write, as I have to juggle looking after her, looking after my absent-minded but oh so adorable husband and taking care of the house/meals/shopping, etc... I was wondering if there were other mums and dads in the same situation. Also, I live in Bicester, Oxfordshire, if anybody fancy meeting up. I don't drive though so it might be a bit of a logistical challenge, unless you don't mind coming to mine. warning, there are toys all over the sitting room and we moved in last summer so aren't fully furnished yet. Good luck to all the other parents out there. You only fully realise what it's like when you become one yourself. Laurie Start writing where it matters. On her mind.
my website
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Any other new mum/parent out there?
18 Mar 2010, 10:50
