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If you want a review from anyone:
1. Make sure your reading questions have the answers in the excerpt - otherwise only wild and inspired guesses will get a reviewer through.
2. Do some basic editing yourself. This is not a tutorial.
3. Get rid of one of the chapter twos.
4. Put in some punctuation for pity's sake. It's all but impossible to read.
5. Convert this freewrite/cluster to actual prose. Think!!
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