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ciaranl
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I'm struggling with a short story. There are two central characters. Both get roughly 2000 words each in their POV. Enough, I think, to establish their voices and identity pretty clearly. During these stages of the story neither character meets or enagages with the other. In the final section, however, the two come together for a significant episode. My problem is managing POV in the last stage. One character dominates, but it is essential I refelect the thoughts of the other in order to reveal the motivation behind certain of his responses. The question is whether or not to break the rules, just head hop on the assumption both characters are sufficiently known, or not. If I don't (or shouldn't), how do I get around the problem?
Time And Time Again
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MJ26
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Hi, I'm no expert, but if you have established two distinct characters - which I understand from what you say you have - and the two characters encounter each other in a scene, it's fair game to report the thinking and perceptions of both characters - it's not breaking any rules - headhopping is cool if controlled - and controlled well. Be sure to make clear who is seeing and thinking what at each step of the encounter and you will be ok. No 'rule' broken, no confusion (unless that is part of your intention) no tears of frustration - and a happy reader. Best of luck with your writing projects. Regards.
AFTER GOYAThe Best of Barcelona Ink
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ciaranl
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Thanks MJ26, appreciate it. I figured it should be okay, but just wanted to see what anyone might have to say about it. I've been reading quite a bit about structure, style etc, as offered by links from various threads here. Thanks for your input, its worth something to me.
Time And Time Again
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stjerome
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Quote: ciaranl, Monday, 24 Jan 2011 23:29I'm struggling with a short story. There are two central characters. Both get roughly 2000 words each in their POV. Enough, I think, to establish their voices and identity pretty clearly. During these stages of the story neither character meets or enagages with the other. In the final section, however, the two come together for a significant episode. My problem is managing POV in the last stage. One character dominates, but it is essential I refelect the thoughts of the other in order to reveal the motivation behind certain of his responses. The question is whether or not to break the rules, just head hop on the assumption both characters are sufficiently known, or not. If I don't (or shouldn't), how do I get around the problem?  I think you need to make sure your two POV's are always in separate text blocks, whether that's paragraphs or just on separate lines, or it looks and feels wrong. Tim
Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. Ambrose Bierce (1842 -1913)
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chickin
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Quote: ciaranl, Monday, 24 Jan 2011 23:29I'm struggling with a short story. There are two central characters. Both get roughly 2000 words each in their POV. Enough, I think, to establish their voices and identity pretty clearly. During these stages of the story neither character meets or enagages with the other. In the final section, however, the two come together for a significant episode. My problem is managing POV in the last stage. One character dominates, but it is essential I refelect the thoughts of the other in order to reveal the motivation behind certain of his responses. The question is whether or not to break the rules, just head hop on the assumption both characters are sufficiently known, or not. If I don't (or shouldn't), how do I get around the problem?  No advice - sorry. But I would like you to shout me when it's up. I'd like to read it and see how it works. I promise I'll give you an honest answer whether I can follow it clearly or not. To me, that's all that matters - if the reader can follow it and know who is speaking and thinking at any given time.
I deleted my sig.
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ciaranl
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Thanks St Jerome and thanks Chickin.. I won't combine thoughts and speech in a single block but have found action, movement is hard to avoid. I'm still revising this and will let you know Chickin when its up for review.. maybe later today... Cheers Ciaran
Time And Time Again
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ciaranl
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Okay, there's every chance it will change, but the story's posted. I edit the stories as the reviews come in, if I think they point something up anyway. So the last section of the story is (subtly) different to what any of the reviews thus posted have been based on. The story is 'The Major's Last Stand.' Scroll to the end and then back up to the division marked by the asterix. The whole section is essentially two switching view points, though one is a deal more prevalent. Please let me know if you think it doesn't work.. Cheers, Ciaran
Time And Time Again
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chickin
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Quote: ciaranl, Wednesday, 26 Jan 2011 10:41Okay, there's every chance it will change, but the story's posted. I edit the stories as the reviews come in, if I think they point something up anyway. So the last section of the story is (subtly) different to what any of the reviews thus posted have been based on. The story is 'The Major's Last Stand.' Scroll to the end and then back up to the division marked by the asterix. The whole section is essentially two switching view points, though one is a deal more prevalent. Please let me know if you think it doesn't work.. Cheers, Ciaran Believe in fairies? My first 'randomly selected' story for reviewing today? 'The Major's Last Stand'. I'll crack on with it as soon as I've made some breakfast, but I'm working 'on call' so it may be tomorrow before you get it back. Don't forget - I'm not a published writer etc --- all personal opinion, blah de blah.
I deleted my sig.
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ciaranl
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Shee-hit.. Now that is incredible.. I've been working on it again this morning, just finished now, so if you printed off before 1.00pm you may want to do so again. Sorry, but I went over it, top to tail, and re edited. Just say what you think Chickin. I'm hear to listen... Cheers..
Time And Time Again
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chickin
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Quote: ciaranl, Wednesday, 26 Jan 2011 12:48Shee-hit.. Now that is incredible.. I've been working on it again this morning, just finished now, so if you printed off before 1.00pm you may want to do so again. Sorry, but I went over it, top to tail, and re edited. Just say what you think Chickin. I'm hear to listen... Cheers.. Yeah it is pretty weird ---- I reckon the 'random picker outer' monitors the threads. I'll go and print it out again and take it to work with me for the 'quiet' moments. Spk soon.
I deleted my sig.
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