The free website to help new writers to develop, and to help talented writers get noticed and published Books
   
10 worst rail fare dodging excuses << Return To Main Site

 Welcome to the YouWriteOn Forum

**2012 News Random House & Orion Editors to continue free reviews of YouWriteOn Top Ten Writers each month  - publishers of many of the world's bestselling authors 

YouWriteOn Authors' Hall of Fame Congratulations to our many authors achieving sales and signings successes through  Waterstones, WHSmith and others! View Hall of Fame
     

YouWriteOn Message Board > Literary Forums > NEW - The Not About Books Tavern Help Search Recent Posts
10 worst rail fare dodging excuses
Page 1 Last : 2 > Start New Topic Reply To Topic
sep4475
 20 Sep 2011, 17:08 #130360 Reply To Post

Fare dodgers' ten worst excuses:

- I’m related to the Queen, so I don’t need a ticket

- I’m in the Zimbabwean SAS, on covert operations

- Don’t you know who I am?

- What’s a ticket?

- I thought the railway was free

- If the ticket inspector doesn’t see me then I don’t need one

- I’m a freeman of the land

- I don’t recognise the law and the law does not apply to me

- I thought I was a child until I was 21 years old

- I didn’t think you would accept my fare

- I thought by hiding in the luggage rack you wouldn’t see me

.
Joe 90
 21 Sep 2011, 08:54 #130386 Reply To Post
Quote: sep4475, Tuesday, 20 Sep 2011 17:08

Fare dodgers' ten worst excuses:

- I’m related to the Queen, so I don’t need a ticket

- I’m in the Zimbabwean SAS, on covert operations

- Don’t you know who I am?

- What’s a ticket?

- I thought the railway was free

- If the ticket inspector doesn’t see me then I don’t need one

- I’m a freeman of the land

- I don’t recognise the law and the law does not apply to me

- I thought I was a child until I was 21 years old

- I didn’t think you would accept my fare

- I thought by hiding in the luggage rack you wouldn’t see me



Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion:

Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc.

Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.'

The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake.
With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade.

You couldn't make it up.
my website
PERRY
 21 Sep 2011, 11:03 #130409 Reply To Post
Perhaps he was on the wrong type of snow?
notleyab
 21 Sep 2011, 12:23 #130413 Reply To Post
Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 08:54


Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion:

Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc.

Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.'

The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake.
With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade.

You couldn't make it up.


I've witneseed a similar scene on JR (Japan Railways) where two friends - one Russian, one French - were quizzed for a good 20 minutes by a white-gloved, immaculkately uniformed train inspector.
It was quite amusing as neither side spoke any common language.
But despite the time the inspector invested on talking into thin air - and a lot of serious tapping of the tickets they had bought - we presumed the crime couldn't hv bn too serious.
They were allowed to alight from the train without handcuffs or ankle chains & later leave the country with no known signs of a criminal record.
Joe 90
 21 Sep 2011, 13:02 #130416 Reply To Post
Quote: notleyab, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 12:23
Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 08:54


Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion:

Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc.

Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.'

The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake.
With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade.

You couldn't make it up.


I've witneseed a similar scene on JR (Japan Railways) where two friends - one Russian, one French - were quizzed for a good 20 minutes by a white-gloved, immaculkately uniformed train inspector.
It was quite amusing as neither side spoke any common language.
But despite the time the inspector invested on talking into thin air - and a lot of serious tapping of the tickets they had bought - we presumed the crime couldn't hv bn too serious.
They were allowed to alight from the train without handcuffs or ankle chains & later leave the country with no known signs of a criminal record.


Plenty of scope for entertainment there...

Jap ticket insplector. 'you no have ticket? san? Honoulable lailways need ticket for tlavel. You buy, san?

Russ. 'Whatski iski heski sayingski? Russki railwayski have free passes to Siberiasky!'

Fren. (yawns) Mai oui, Boris! etc. etc.
my website
PERRY
 21 Sep 2011, 18:59 #130455 Reply To Post
Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 13:02
Quote: notleyab, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 12:23
Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 08:54


Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion:

Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc.

Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.'

The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake.
With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade.

You couldn't make it up.


I've witneseed a similar scene on JR (Japan Railways) where two friends - one Russian, one French - were quizzed for a good 20 minutes by a white-gloved, immaculkately uniformed train inspector.
It was quite amusing as neither side spoke any common language.
But despite the time the inspector invested on talking into thin air - and a lot of serious tapping of the tickets they had bought - we presumed the crime couldn't hv bn too serious.
They were allowed to alight from the train without handcuffs or ankle chains & later leave the country with no known signs of a criminal record.


Plenty of scope for entertainment there...

Jap ticket insplector. 'you no have ticket? san? Honoulable lailways need ticket for tlavel. You buy, san?

Russ. 'Whatski iski heski sayingski? Russki railwayski have free passes to Siberiasky!'

Fren. (yawns) Mai oui, Boris! etc. etc.


Glaswegian Gorbal - stitch that, shorty.
sep4475
 21 Sep 2011, 19:47 #130463 Reply To Post
Not dodging fares, but involving a slob not paying. I was in the supermarket cafe, drinking one of those cokes that you can refill yourself. This big slob sees me refill it, and asks if it is free. I explained that you had to buy a cup. So he takes a cup out of the bin and has a free drink. It was only 50p, why risk getting oral herpes or something more horrible for that?
.
Joe 90
 22 Sep 2011, 08:31 #130505 Reply To Post
Quote: sep4475, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 19:47
Not dodging fares, but involving a slob not paying. I was in the supermarket cafe, drinking one of those cokes that you can refill yourself. This big slob sees me refill it, and asks if it is free. I explained that you had to buy a cup. So he takes a cup out of the bin and has a free drink. It was only 50p, why risk getting oral herpes or something more horrible for that?


Shoplifting is thirsty work. (or so I'm told.)
my website
PERRY
 22 Sep 2011, 20:33 #130568 Reply To Post
If a a junkie sep, they care?
sep4475
 22 Sep 2011, 21:31 #130577 Reply To Post
Quote: PERRY, Thursday, 22 Sep 2011 20:33
If a a junkie sep, they care?


??
.
Page 1 Last : 2 > Add To My Topic Watch List Start New Topic Reply To Topic
Server Time: 17 May 2012, 01:50

Powered by Zarr Forums

5 Database Read(s) - 0.234 seconds

 

Adverts provided by Google and not endorsed by YouWriteOn.com.