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sep4475
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Fare dodgers' ten worst excuses: - I’m related to the Queen, so I don’t need a ticket - I’m in the Zimbabwean SAS, on covert operations - Don’t you know who I am? - What’s a ticket? - I thought the railway was free - If the ticket inspector doesn’t see me then I don’t need one - I’m a freeman of the land - I don’t recognise the law and the law does not apply to me - I thought I was a child until I was 21 years old - I didn’t think you would accept my fare - I thought by hiding in the luggage rack you wouldn’t see me
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Joe 90
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Quote: sep4475, Tuesday, 20 Sep 2011 17:08Fare dodgers' ten worst excuses: - I’m related to the Queen, so I don’t need a ticket - I’m in the Zimbabwean SAS, on covert operations - Don’t you know who I am? - What’s a ticket? - I thought the railway was free - If the ticket inspector doesn’t see me then I don’t need one - I’m a freeman of the land - I don’t recognise the law and the law does not apply to me - I thought I was a child until I was 21 years old - I didn’t think you would accept my fare - I thought by hiding in the luggage rack you wouldn’t see me Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion: Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc. Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.' The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake. With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade. You couldn't make it up.
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PERRY
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Perhaps he was on the wrong type of snow?
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notleyab
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Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 08:54Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion: Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc. Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.' The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake. With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade. You couldn't make it up. I've witneseed a similar scene on JR (Japan Railways) where two friends - one Russian, one French - were quizzed for a good 20 minutes by a white-gloved, immaculkately uniformed train inspector. It was quite amusing as neither side spoke any common language. But despite the time the inspector invested on talking into thin air - and a lot of serious tapping of the tickets they had bought - we presumed the crime couldn't hv bn too serious. They were allowed to alight from the train without handcuffs or ankle chains & later leave the country with no known signs of a criminal record.
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Joe 90
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Quote: notleyab, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 12:23Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 08:54Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion: Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc. Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.' The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake. With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade. You couldn't make it up. I've witneseed a similar scene on JR (Japan Railways) where two friends - one Russian, one French - were quizzed for a good 20 minutes by a white-gloved, immaculkately uniformed train inspector. It was quite amusing as neither side spoke any common language. But despite the time the inspector invested on talking into thin air - and a lot of serious tapping of the tickets they had bought - we presumed the crime couldn't hv bn too serious. They were allowed to alight from the train without handcuffs or ankle chains & later leave the country with no known signs of a criminal record. Plenty of scope for entertainment there... Jap ticket insplector. 'you no have ticket? san? Honoulable lailways need ticket for tlavel. You buy, san? Russ. 'Whatski iski heski sayingski? Russki railwayski have free passes to Siberiasky!' Fren. (yawns) Mai oui, Boris! etc. etc.
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PERRY
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Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 13:02Quote: notleyab, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 12:23Quote: Joe 90, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 08:54Here's a genuine observed attempt at fare-elusion: Slobby man with appropriate gurlfrend gets on train. Along comes inspector, 'all tickets please!' etc. Slob says loudly to gurlfrend, 'pretend I'm too drunk to wake up.' Then 'passes out.' The next five minutes are highly entertaining as inspector lays siege to slob, hectoring, prodding him and finally shaking him awake. With bad grace he pays for ticket, then belabours gurlfrend for not going along with his charade. You couldn't make it up. I've witneseed a similar scene on JR (Japan Railways) where two friends - one Russian, one French - were quizzed for a good 20 minutes by a white-gloved, immaculkately uniformed train inspector. It was quite amusing as neither side spoke any common language. But despite the time the inspector invested on talking into thin air - and a lot of serious tapping of the tickets they had bought - we presumed the crime couldn't hv bn too serious. They were allowed to alight from the train without handcuffs or ankle chains & later leave the country with no known signs of a criminal record. Plenty of scope for entertainment there... Jap ticket insplector. 'you no have ticket? san? Honoulable lailways need ticket for tlavel. You buy, san? Russ. 'Whatski iski heski sayingski? Russki railwayski have free passes to Siberiasky!' Fren. (yawns) Mai oui, Boris! etc. etc. Glaswegian Gorbal - stitch that, shorty.
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sep4475
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Not dodging fares, but involving a slob not paying. I was in the supermarket cafe, drinking one of those cokes that you can refill yourself. This big slob sees me refill it, and asks if it is free. I explained that you had to buy a cup. So he takes a cup out of the bin and has a free drink. It was only 50p, why risk getting oral herpes or something more horrible for that?
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Joe 90
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Quote: sep4475, Wednesday, 21 Sep 2011 19:47Not dodging fares, but involving a slob not paying. I was in the supermarket cafe, drinking one of those cokes that you can refill yourself. This big slob sees me refill it, and asks if it is free. I explained that you had to buy a cup. So he takes a cup out of the bin and has a free drink. It was only 50p, why risk getting oral herpes or something more horrible for that? Shoplifting is thirsty work. (or so I'm told.)
my website
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PERRY
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If a a junkie sep, they care?
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sep4475
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Quote: PERRY, Thursday, 22 Sep 2011 20:33If a a junkie sep, they care? ??
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